Category: Community

The Four Reasons We Want to Buy More

Our lack of satisfaction with purchases stems from four science-based reasons

Introduction

A common issue that may plague our lives is that we are never satisfied with what we buy for long. Our excitement for our purchase soon fades and is replaced with indifference. Is it because the new object is less valuable now? Are we used to its presence, prompting the previous excitement to disappear?  This dynamic is due to four factors. The first reason is our unknowing participation in our personal Hedonic Treadmill.1 The second reason is that the marketing industry is a psychology-researched and trillion-dollar thriving industry.2 3 The third reason is that we often buy due to comparison and habitual behaviour.4 The fourth and final reason is that we commonly lack gratitude for what we already possess.5

Reason 1: The Hedonic Treadmill

The hedonic treadmill is the psychology theory that despite what we experience (positive or negative), our brains will default to our baseline emotional and mental state once the event (or, in this case, purchase) is finished.1 The hedonic treadmill theory applies directly to the spike in dopamine and serotonin we acquire while anticipating and purchasing items.1 Once we acquire the item, the dopamine and serotonin boost dwindles, and our brains default to our baseline emotional and mental position.1 For people who have life struggles, their baseline emotional state can be low, prompting their craving for the dopamine and serotonin boost of purchases.1  This phenomenon cements the cycle, or in this case, the treadmill effect of the Hedonic Treadmill.1

Getting off the hedonic treadmill can be challenging and requires us to deal with the factors that have created dissatisfaction in our baseline emotional and mental state. However, in the long term, dealing with a low emotional state will bring happiness and reduce the craving for purchasing, thus breaking the detrimental hedonic treadmill.1

Reason 2: The Success of the Marketing Industry

The second reason we want to buy more is the success of the marketing industry itself. Marketing is a 1.65 trillion-dollar powerful psychology-based tool companies use to entice us to purchase and pay more.2 3 The marketing industry thrives on psychology research, particularly the psychology of how companies can convince people to buy an item or spend more on it.3 For example, it is common for companies to use specific colours in their branding and logos to spark particular feelings in potential customers.3 Companies use red to invoke hunger, while others use pink to connect with female audiences.3 Unfortunately, their colourization is based on research that shows these techniques’ wild success.3 Other examples of successful techniques include the use of buzzwords, aligning to trending causes and the successfulness of targeted ads. 

Marketing has also mastered its ability to warp our perception of the difference between needs, issues and luxuries.6 It has become commonplace for ordinary people to see luxuries as necessities thanks to the power of long-term targeted ads, which results in warped need perspectives. Marketing material often exaggerates or showcases a problem that may not be prevalent in our lives and advertises a product that solves it.7 This technique, routinely used in infomercials, is called Problem-Solution Selling.6

Our actual human needs are highlighted in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.8 These basic human needs include psychological needs (water, food, shelter), safety and belonging, self-esteem and self-actualization.8 These needs can be hijacked with products advertised as solutions to our needs when, in reality, they will not meet our needs.7 For example, one cannot find self-esteem or belonging in a purchased item, as much as marketers will have you believe. You can only meet those needs in a loving community and through healing work. 

Reason 3: Comparison and Habitual Behaviour

The third reason we want to buy more is because of comparisons and habitual shopping habits.4 It is natural to strive towards happiness. However, with over a hundred years of successful marketing tactics, we may assume either partly or wholeheartedly that happiness comes from purchases rather than perspective changes and other non-purchasable factors.9 Comparison is a common habit that has been shown to increase our spending habits. Studies show that we have the highest level of unhappiness when we are dissatisfied with what we have and decide to want more.9 This is often emphasized when we feel pressure to buy more or feel like we should earn more to acquire more due to the comparison of people in our community.4  

However, the benefit of endless comparison and a lack of satisfaction with what we have drives us to find better outcomes.10 Comparison can also lead to faster learning.10 On the other hand, comparison makes us unhappier and can cause us to devalue what we own, which can lead to depression.9 This can be seen in the “Keeping Up with the Jones” effect, where we may be upset by what we do not have compared to our neighbours and friends rather than being happy with what we possess.9 Though comparison could be an evolutionary advantage because it prompts us to seek better options, it can cause an endless cycle of dissatisfaction with one’s belongings, leading to unhappiness overall.9 10

Reason 4: Lack of Gratitude

The fourth reason we want to buy more is a lack of gratitude.5 A lack of gratitude can contribute to our thirst to want more.5 Unhappiness peaks when we are unsatisfied with what we possess.11 If we do not appreciate what we have, we can enter a cycle of wanting because we lack satisfaction with what we own.12 It becomes hard to enjoy the present if we feel lacking, contributing to our dissatisfaction and desire for more.11 However, we are statistically happier when we relinquish the thirst for more, which we can achieve through mindful gratitude.11 This is because when we are content with what we possess and appreciate the present, we eliminate the feeling of shame or envy for more.4 Practicing gratitude changes our perspective and helps us become satisfied with our lives and the objects we acquire.12

Future-orientated purchase thinking also creates dissatisfaction with the objects that we already possess.11The mindset of uncontrolled acquiring means that our possessions may not meet our expectations.11 These unmet expectations cement the cycle of disappointment and dissatisfaction in our possessions, which leads to more wanting.11 A lack of gratitude can also warp our perception of luxuries as standard necessities, contributing to unhappiness.5 These combined factors demonstrate that a lack of gratitude is a critical factor in the dissatisfying cycle of wanting, contributing to unhappiness overall.5 11

Conclusion

In conclusion, our unquenchable thirst to buy more stems from four reasons. The first reason is our unknowing participation in the Hedonic Treadmill, which is to avoid our negative emotional baseline.1 The second reason is the power of the multi-trillion-dollar marketing industry and its psychology-based tactics.2 3 The third reason is community-orientated comparison and habitual spending.4 The fourth and final reason is our lack of gratitude, which leads to dissatisfaction and thirst for acquiring more.5

[1] Hedonic treadmill. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/hedonic-treadmill 

[2] Marketing Worldwide- Statistics & Facts. Statista. https://www.statista.com/topics/8954/marketing-worldwide/#topicOverview

[3] Color Psychology for Marketers: Brand’s Success Stories and Best Practices. Tailwind. https://www.tailwindapp.com/blog/color-psychology-in-marketing

[4] Humans’ Desire to Want More May Serve an Important Purpose. Medical News Today. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/humans-desire-to-want-more-may-serve-an-important-purpose

[5] The #1 Reason Why We Want More And More (And More). Positive Psychology. https://positivepsychology.com/more-more-more/

[6] Needs, Wants, and Demands in Marketing. BBANote. https://bbanote.org/needs-wants-and-demands-in-marketing/

[7] What is Problem-Solutions Selling? (Explained with Examples). Breakcold. https://www.breakcold.com/explain/problem-solution-selling

[8] Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Simply Psychology. https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

[9] The Problem with Wanting. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-darkness/201507/the-problem-wanting

[10] The Pursuit of Happiness: A Reinforcement Learning Perspective on Habitual and Comparison. PLOS Computational Biology Journal. https://journals.plos.org/ploscompbiol/article?id=10.1371/journal.pcbi.1010316

[11] The Problem with Wanting. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-darkness/201507/the-problem-wanting

[12] What is Gratitude and Why Is it So Important?. Positive Psychology. https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/

My Best Friend Blocked Me And The Lessons It Taught Me 

“She was my best friend, but I was probably not hers.“

Last year, my best friend of two years blocked me out of the blue. This was after months of her ignoring my message asking if she was okay and what was wrong. She was going through her third separation from her husband, and I assumed she needed space. This separation seemed permanent this time because she had moved in with him and then broken a lease to end her relationship again a few months later.

She was what I always wanted in a best friend. We connected on our shared beliefs about how fascinating the world is, how everything is connected, and how society is warped by pride and selfishness. We talked and bonded for hours over similar childhoods, regrets, and loneliness. 

I met her near the tail end of my seven-year-long relationship with the one I thought I would spend my life with. I met her after she had been separated for the second, and according to her, final time with her husband. Meeting each other at that time helped us bond over our growing self-respect and helped us cement what we wanted out of life and our partners. She was my best friend; I loved her with all my heart and wanted the best for her. Yet, looking back, I did not know what a good friendship entailed. That was my first mistake.

Growing up, I had few stable and meaningful relationships. I was the outsider wandering from friend group to friend group, exploring different people’s backgrounds and ideas. I found this more fascinating than talking to a set group of people about pop culture, politics, celebrity news or video games. Not that those are bad topics, but they are not for me. I always favored conversations about a person’s views on culture and society or their version of the meaning of life. I soon discovered that most children, teens, and young adults are indifferent to these topics. This is where my best friend differed; she loved these topics as much as I did, and I clung to her. That was my second mistake.

I wanted close friends, but they were few and far between. I developed the belief that I had to over-give to get love back. I did this to anyone that I liked and felt a connection with. I would drive them anywhere they wanted with whoever they wanted. I would buy them drinks, meals and tickets. I would plan day trips without reciprocation. I would drop everything to help them if they were struggling. I did all this with love even though it was exhausting because I was happy to have someone willing to be around me.

This dynamic also manifested in other unfavourable ways. I would ignore poor behaviour because I was eager to have company and a good friend. I would accommodate friends who cancelled on me at the last minute to hang out with others. I was the “therapist” friend who let others talk for hours without them asking anything about my life for weeks. I would plan hangouts only for them to add their friends and become the third wheel in a day I had planned. I would have people invite me to hang out and then tell me that they expected me to pay for them. It would take weeks for friends to message me back, and then they would pop up again and ask for a favor, and I would do it. The issue was that I would do it all with a smile because I cared about them, and I thought that was how you show love. I had always been a good friend to people who had abused my kindness because I cared and loved them.

Going back to my best friend, she would often cancel on me at the last minute. She sometimes stopped responding for weeks only to pop up to ask for a favor. She often cut our hangouts to less than an hour because she had other people to see and other things to do. It was common for her to only talk about herself and rarely ask about me. I had to plan the outings, and I always had to go where it was convenient for her. She was my best friend, but I was probably not hers. Near the end of our friendship, she pulled away and stopped answering my texts until weeks later. To this day, I do not know why she pulled away and then blocked me, but I have my suspicions.

I think back to our last conversation about how she was ending her relationship with her husband for the third time. For months, she was upset about how her husband was not interested in getting to know the “new her”. But, that week, he offered to get to know the “new her” by taking her on a first date again. I excitedly told her that was an improvement, and she should take him up on the offer, but she did not seem pleased with my response. She said she had given him time to do that before, but now it was too late. I told her to give him a chance one last time, as he was now trying to get to know the “new her” for the first time. She seemed displeased with this answer as well. I believe she wanted me to have the same point of view, which I was now denying her.

It may have been a mistake, but I told her I was finally happy after she had told me about her impending separation. I had a new loving boyfriend and great new friends. I had also started exploring the surrounding areas, which I had always wanted to do. I told her this because we had spent years hyping each other to build our dream life with the people we wanted. I thought I had finally done what we had discussed for years, but this was probably my insensitive mistake. Maybe she felt invalidated; maybe she did not like that my life was getting happier while hers was getting worse. I do not know, nor will I ever know, because that would be the last time we would speak. She cut our hangout to under an hour because she was not feeling well. I texted her a day later, asking how she was, and she never responded again.

My best friend ghosting me was devastating. I may have faults like everyone, but I had always prided myself on being an over-giving, accommodating, and loving friend. It angered me to know that this was insufficient to warrant a conversation about what I was doing that upset her or why she needed to end our friendship. 

Her leaving ended my over-giving and tolerance of hurtful and disrespectful behavior. It also prompted me to examine other unfavorable friendship dynamics. If friends were going to leave regardless of what I gave them to my detriment, I might as well respect myself and have good, loving friends back. This meant some other friends had to go too.

I quickly noticed that I was almost always the first to message friends and plan fun hangouts and activities as I did with my best friend. It kept me exhausted and made me feel like, without my effort, the friendships would die. I stopped being the first to initiate conversations and hangouts with two good friends and waited for them to text first for once. Those friendships have now fizzled out because they never texted me back first. That was a painful lesson, but it is a lesson I am grateful to know now.   

I also realized that another good friend only messaged me when they needed a ride and someone to keep them company while they did errands. I would plan day trips and activities for us, but they would save their plans and day trips for other friends. I ended that friendship formally. Within days, they bad-mouthed me to acquaintances who no longer invited me to hangouts. It was upsetting knowing that someone that I cared for would lash out like that to hurt me and my relationships with other people.

I was heartbroken because in six months, not only had I lost my best friend, but I had lost three close friends. It made me realize that friends will come and go, and nothing is wrong with that. Maybe they did not feel as connected to me anymore. Maybe we grew apart, and I was clinging onto them. Maybe they were pulling away and building friendships with other people, and I did not notice. Whatever their reasons are for no longer wanting to be friends, I would no longer be a doormat who over-gave to those I loved. I felt free. 

Removing my old close friends opened me up to the possibility of new friends. In less than a year, I have made two new close friends. With these two new friends, the friendships feel equal; we mutually care and ask about each other and take turns planning hangouts. It has been great. Even though the friendships are newer, I feel less exhausted compared to my old friends. I now have the friends I have always wanted and who I love being with because I am no longer putting up with poor behavior in the name of love.

About the Author Madison Mussio

Feel Free to Connect with Madison on / Instagram / Linkedin / Facebook /

The Industrialization of the Education System and The Dyslexic Student

“Our modern system is heavily based on mass industrialization”

When it comes to schooling itself, having dyslexia often feels like you do twice the work for half the effect. Teachers, parents, tutors, and fellow students will try helping, but they usually give up in frustration once their tried-and-true standardized tactics fail. They even go as far as to blame the student and their brain rather than focusing that blame on their lack of patience and inability to tailor teaching methods. To be fair, most teachers were not taught with adaptability at the forefront but with the mass standardization of educational concepts that ignore differences.[1] This perpetual and frustrating cycle continues for every new subject introduced. It’s embarrassing, tiring, and, overall, frustratingly unfair. 

We often forget that despite the human species being hundreds of thousands of years old, our modern school system has only been around for less than two hundred years.1 [2] Even then, our modern system is heavily based on mass industrialization, a modern concept to our ancient species.1 This industrialized schooling thrives on standardization and memorization, two factors that naturally disadvantage dyslexic students.1 These educational factors, paired with the fact that mass literacy of the populace has only been achieved in the last hundred years, mean that humans have evolved without literacy and industrial schooling for hundreds of thousands of years.1 It is no wonder people with dyslexia struggle; we as a society are still ironing out the kinks of a modern invention. 

There is early evidence through studies that shows that Dyslexic students who learn Ancient Greek can improve their reading and writing skills.[3] [4] I would argue that this could show that for hundreds of years before industrial education, dyslexic people may have been able to thrive on their natural ability to think and process differently with a different language. They may have become philosophers, inventors, artists, bakers, farmers, and labourers contributing to the significant development of humanity, all without the need for our modern approach to literacy and maths. It is disheartening that their descendants struggle to learn in a system never built with their brains in mind. 

Instead of realizing this unfairness, we pressure people with dyslexia to adapt to our poorly planned invention and shame them when they cannot satisfy conformity and categorization. Education is now taught and set up as if it were an industrial assembly line by processing and advancing children once they have met their metrics like a factory part.1

I would go as far as to argue that the diagnosing of dyslexia itself is another way to try to categorize and pressure conformity rather than instinctively taking an individualistic approach regardless of designation. Expanding on this notion, I think the label of dyslexia can and often is used as an excuse for why a student cannot meet standardized quotas rather than blaming the system. I would also argue that the current educational system is, unfortunately, moulding and training kids to become cogs in an economic machine for the benefit of others rather than happy individuals and innovators, but that topic is for another day. 

With all this in mind, I think it is common for parents, teachers, and students to cling to hope that things will improve for the dyslexic student. They prioritize repetition and memorization, hoping things will improve. This approach is oblivious that this system was not built for all humans’ unique strengths and weaknesses and that we cannot mass-produce humans as machine parts.1 I am not arguing for abolishing math and literacy; I am asking for an adaptation. However, this would most likely require a brand-new system with its own kinks to work out. What would that new system of education look like? I do not know, but I know someone out there will, maybe someone with knowledge of the issues plaguing the system through dyslexia. Hopefully, they are not disheartened enough by an ineffective educational system to want to try to fix it. 

The author, Madison Mussio, has been diagnosed with Dyslexia since age 10. She could not read until age 11 and write until age 12. Her father also learnt to read and write at around the same age. Madison is also an ambassador for the non-profit school Fraser Academy, which helps students and the greater community manage and thrive with Dyslexia in Vancouver, British Columbia. 

About the Author Madison Mussio

Feel Free to Connect with Madison on / Instagram / Linkedin / Facebook 

References:

[1] “Our Education System is Losing Relevance. Here’s How to Unleash its Potential”, World Economic Forum, 2020

[2] “An Evolutionary Timeline of the Homo Sapiens” Smithsonian Magazine, 2021

[3] “Help For a Dyslexic Learner From an Unlikely Source: The Study of Ancient Greek” Literacy, 2006

[4] “New Research Shows That Ancient Greek Can cure Dyslexia” Greek City times, 2021

Another Way to Solve Vancouver´s Housing Crisis

“Most people don´t want to move anywhere else in British Columbia”

It’s not a secret; Vancouver is one of the world´s least affordable cities, and the housing crisis seems to be the only thing on Vancouver’s minds for the past decade. We blame the housing crisis on foreign investors, lack of available housing, money laundering, our governments, and almost anyone we can. However, we are missing something fundamental that links all these ¨causes¨ together.

One Critical Cause We Are Overlooking

Why is there such a high demand for a specific city when our Province is bigger than most countries?

Why does it only seem like people can live in Vancouver and nowhere else in the Province?

Foreign investors flock to expensive Vancouver over more affordable cities such as Victoria, Kelowna, Vernon or Kamloops. People born and raised in Vancouver refuse to move, even though they claim to be unhappy and to be pushed out of their “city” by increased rent. People from all over the country move to the Lower Mainland despite knowing its lack of affordability.

The reason for the madness:

Most people don´t want to move anywhere else in British Columbia because they believe there is nothing outside the Lower Mainland and a lack of economic opportunity in the rest of the province. 

Why do residents in the Lower Mainland think this?

Let´s look at a personal example of mine.

I was born and raised in Vancouver, 15 minutes from downtown. I moved to Switzerland for economic opportunity (Schooling at one of the best Hospitality Management Schools in the World), which is currently unavailable in Canada. 

The University is in a village of 300 people and a 2-hour drive or 3-hour train ride to the nearest international airport in Geneva.

I left for an internship in Barcelona, again for economic opportunity, with a population of 1.6 million. Then, I moved to a resort town 140,000 for a semester abroad.

After my time in Spain, I had the choice to move back to the village of 300 people, with a post office, three overpriced mediocre restaurants and an international airport, which was a 2-hour drive away, or I could move back to the Spanish city of 1.6 million, filled with world-class restaurants, entertainment, beaches and an international airport 25-minute drive away. 

The choice was a relatively easy one to make. Spain it is. 

This is a European example, but British Columbians face a similar dilemma every time their rent increases and their living expenses skyrocket.

The Common Vancouverite Dilemma 

British Columbians can move to Vancouver, an incredibly international city filled with some of the best restaurants and cafes in the country, large malls and shopping areas, beaches next to downtown, an internationally recognized sports team and a stone’s throw to a world-class award-winning airport.

Alternatively, they can move, for example, to Victoria, which is smaller and has historic charm but with similar unaffordability issues to Vancouver. They could move to Kelowna, which has a small international airport and some city amenities. They can move to Kamloops, known as the tournament capital of Canada (i.e. ice hockey), with limited city amenities and job opportunities.

Smaller city living can be excellent, yet a large population of Canada wants to have economic opportunities and access to a lifestyle that is only available in large international cities. Many people would never consider Kelowna, Victoria, Kamloops, or other smaller cities in British Columbia a viable alternative to Vancouver, resulting in an affordability crisis in Vancouver.

It’s not just foreign investors buying all of Vancouver´s housing; it’s Vancouverites’ attitude towards other cities in B.C., notably smaller cities. The lack of international city amenities and economic opportunity in other areas has reduced emigration from the Lower Mainland to other parts of B.C.  

Not to insult the beautiful and diverse towns of British Columbia, but this is the reality. We only have one international city with amenities and economic opportunities that are on par with other global cities in foreign countries. Vancouver is the only BC city competing with other global cities for job opportunities and international amenities. 

The Solution

Vancouver wasn´t always an international city. Instead, it developed into a renowned city thanks, in part, to the Expo 86´ and, later, the Vancouver Olympics. Because of these world events, Vancouver received a large amount of investment capital from governments, companies, and investors, which was used to improve, develop and expand the city for an international audience. 

From this, we can see the requirements other British Columbian cities need to compete with Vancouver:

British Columbia´s smaller towns and cities need investments from businesses, governments and private citizens to increase the amenities and economic opportunities it provides to its inhabitants and increase the number of inhabitants away from overpopulated Vancouver. 

Over-Developed Neighborhood Theory

People move to other neighbourhoods if a neighbourhood gets too expensive due to demand in the area surpassing supply. This emigration brings the establishment of new cafés, entertainment venues, restaurants, and shops in different places because of the increased population and income bracket. This is also called gentrification. The result is that another neighbourhood develops, attracting more people than before, and the cycle continues. 

Think of Vancouver as an overdeveloped neighbourhood. The natural next step is for people to leave and turn other cities and towns into beautifully developed ones filled with new restaurants, cafes, shops, and entertainment, which creates more jobs and brings more people into the area. Then, as a result, the city will become more sought after, and the cycle continues into surrounding towns. 

Increased Populations and their Effects

We already see increased populations in British Columbia and other small cities across Canada. Kelowna and Victoria have seen an increase in inhabitants over the last decade, most of which is due to Vancouver´s unaffordability. 

Due to the increased population moving outside Vancouver, we are seeing new businesses open or move to these cities, creating more amenities and jobs in the local area. This economic boost creates more amenities, services, and opportunities for people in the area and, therefore, attracting more people to the area. As a result, the non-Vancouver cities have more appeal for people looking for a career, services and housing when priced out of Vancouver. There is also the added benefit of local governments having more taxes to develop their region. 

It will take at least a decade or two to fully see the effects of developing other towns and cities in BC to reduce the Vancouver housing crisis. Still, it’s a natural solution that I feel has not been openly discussed as part of the solution to the housing crisis in Vancouver. Simply put, another way to fix Vancouver’s housing crisis is to make the rest of British Columbia very attractive to people looking for city amenities, services, and jobs, just as Vancouver has. 

About the Author Madison Mussio

Feel Free to Connect with Madison on / Instagram / Linkedin / Facebook /

Initially written in 2019, updated in 2024